Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Early Diagnosis and Effective Treatment
EARLY DIAGNOSIS AND EFFECTIVE TREATMENT
1. Tell EVERYONE The Facts
What are the first three facts you can tell others?
+Fact one: Today, 95 percent of child molestation can be prevented. We have the knowledge to stop it.
+Fact two: Today, living in the United States, there are 39 million adults who have survived child sexual abuse.
+Fact three: Today, more than three million American children are victims. Most of them are children, struggling alone, believing there is no adult who can help them. To help prevent child molestation from happening to the children closest to you, begin by telling others the basic facts.
But why you? Shouldn't stopping sexual abuse be left to professionals - physicians and therapists? Better yet, shouldn't the police and the courts take care of it?
Professionals - physicians and therapists - can never put an end to sexual abuse; neither can the police or the courts. Why? Because they come on the scene too late. By the time they get there, the children have already been molested. Only you can get there in time.
****IT'S ONLY BEEN IN RECENT YEARS THAT ABUSE IS EVEN TAKEN SERIOUSLY!
Little Johnny was a college freshman, at a prestigious Jesuit school- Regis University in Denver Colorado. Johnny was befriended by many of the priests and one even acted big brotherly by sharing secrets that would make your head spin...
+ like the fact that the Gay priests congregated separately from the heterosexual priests and discussed which freshmen were the cutest and who was going to meet who first. Talk about predatory!
anyway, little Johnny was in fact raped by a Jesuit priest- Father Adam Bunnel right on campus in West Hall. The problem was that no one believed him- not the school understandably and not even the police.
Fortunately time heals all and looking back I have the privilege to share my experiences and knowledge gained in order to prevent abuse. If it's true that 95% of abuse can be prevented, I'll yell from the highest mountains until my last breath.
There's a bigger reason why the professionals and the courts can't put an end to sexual abuse. There is no communication and legally have no rights to talk to a child about sex. Unfortunately the time when they can talk to the child its only then after the fact, after the child has already been sexually abused or has abused another child.
Only you can talk to your children before anything happens, before any damage is done - to anyone.
****The more a child knows, the better a child will do.
Not In My Family
If you are certain there has never been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably wrong.
Unfortunately, most children will never tell as it is all too confusing. They feel ashamed that it had happened, and with that comes too many unanswered questions. Quite often, the victims then protect their abuser because he or she is part of their very own family. They are also protecting other members of their family- saving them from the pain of knowing.
In spite of the millions of victims, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation will never affect them and that molestation has nothing at all to do with them.
THEY ARE WRONG!
It is estimated:
+1 in 20 males sexually abuse children.
+1 female in every 3,300 will abuse children.
Although that's well over five million people, most families mistakenly believe that as far as molesters go, there has never been one in their family, and what's more, there never will be. Add together the child victims, the adult survivors, and the abusers, and that's 15 out of every 100 Americans who have been either a molested child or a molester.
To help prevent child molestation from happening to the children closest to you, begin by telling others the basic facts.
We Start By Speaking The Same Language
If we're going to work together to stop child sexual abuse, we have to speak the same language. We have to mean the same thing when we say "child molester," "child molestation," and even "child."
Moreover, all of us have to understand the basic facts: What exactly is child molestation? How many of our children are sexually abused? How seriously are they damaged? What are the characteristics of a child molester? What causes someone to sexually abuse a child? Which of our children are most at risk?
A child molester is any older child or adult who touches a child for his or her own sexual gratification.
Child molestation is the act of sexually touching a child.
A child is a girl or boy who is 13 years of age or younger.
What's the age difference between a molester and a child? They say it is a five year gap, so a 14-year-old "older child" sexually touching a nine-year-old is an example. This accepted medical definition, does NOT fly. A child molester is anyone above 13 who who touches anyone under 13 for his or her own sexual gratification.
Sometimes, a professional will consider that a molestation act has occurred when the older child is only three years older - a sixth-grader with a third-grader, for instance. The crucial element here is the lack of equality between the two children; the sixth grader is clearly bigger, more powerful, and more "adult-like" than the third-grader.
We avoid definitions that are ambiguous by sticking to the medical definition. We define "child molester" as an adult or child, who has more power over the child he or she has molested.
Telling Others The Facts
If we're going to protect our children from sexual abuse, all of us have to understand exactly what we mean by the act of sexual abuse.
WHY?
Because one of the greatest obstacles we face is people's fear of the facts about child molestation.
For instance, some people who have no idea that sexual touch is vastly different from hugging are afraid to hug a child - especially one who isn't theirs - because someone might think they are child molesters. You can calm their fears by telling them this fact: Hugging is not molesting. Sexual touch is when an adult fondles the child's chest, buttocks, or genitals with the direct purpose of sexually exciting himself or the child.
Can you tell your husband that fact? Can you tell your sister, your cousin, or your best friend? If you can, then you can easily tell others all the rest of the facts.
The less people know, the more anxiety they feel, and the more they want to run away or pretend that today's estimated three million sexually abused children don't exist. Every fact has a calming effect. By telling the people closest to you the facts, you can help those same people become strong adult protectors of the children closest to you.
How Many Children Are Sexually Abused?
Three million children! I don't believe it. How can you possibly know that there are exactly three million child victims?" As you begin to tell others the facts, this is the first question they may ask you. The answer: Of course, we don't know exactly.
Children seldom tell. Those millions of children are a secret. They are the secret in family after family after family. Even adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse seldom tell. What we do know from studies of adult men and women is that the number is at least three million. At least three million children are molested before they finish their 13th year. In 1998, there were 103,000 reported and confirmed cases of child molestation. For comparison, at the height of the polio epidemic that struck children in the 1950s, there were 21,000 cases reported in a year. For rubella, there were 57,000 cases reported. For child molestation, those numbers of reported and confirmed molestations are only the tip of the iceberg. For every case reported there are at least two and maybe three more cases that never get reported.
That's why we may never know the exact number of child victims. We do know that if we use the conservative estimate that two in every ten little girls and one in every ten little boys are victims (based on the population reported in the 1999 U.S. Census statistical abstract) well over three million children are victims.
Take a moment to think about that. Three million children is a staggering number of children. That's 46 National Football League stadiums packed with children who are, today, being sexually abused, and who believe they have no adult to go to for help.
How Severe is the Damage?
Some people will say that sexually touching a child does no harm. Some adults will even tell boy victims to "act like a man" and "stop whining." Other adults are unsympathetic about the experiences of adult survivors. They will say that, no matter what happened in childhood, that is the past. You're an adult now, so get over it.
The facts are that sexual abuse does harm the child and that the damage often carries over into the child's adult life.
Studies show that this damage can include:
difficulty in forming long-term relationships;
sexual risk-taking that may lead to contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS;
physical complaints and physical symptoms;
depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide;
links to failure of the immune system and to increases in illnesses, hospitalizations, and early deaths.
In addition to the tangible physical and emotional damage that sexual abuse does to the child, that terrible secret that is held so close by two or three family members can go on to tear at the fiber of the family in generation after generation.
1. Tell EVERYONE The Facts
What are the first three facts you can tell others?
+Fact one: Today, 95 percent of child molestation can be prevented. We have the knowledge to stop it.
+Fact two: Today, living in the United States, there are 39 million adults who have survived child sexual abuse.
+Fact three: Today, more than three million American children are victims. Most of them are children, struggling alone, believing there is no adult who can help them. To help prevent child molestation from happening to the children closest to you, begin by telling others the basic facts.
But why you? Shouldn't stopping sexual abuse be left to professionals - physicians and therapists? Better yet, shouldn't the police and the courts take care of it?
Professionals - physicians and therapists - can never put an end to sexual abuse; neither can the police or the courts. Why? Because they come on the scene too late. By the time they get there, the children have already been molested. Only you can get there in time.
****IT'S ONLY BEEN IN RECENT YEARS THAT ABUSE IS EVEN TAKEN SERIOUSLY!
Little Johnny was a college freshman, at a prestigious Jesuit school- Regis University in Denver Colorado. Johnny was befriended by many of the priests and one even acted big brotherly by sharing secrets that would make your head spin...
+ like the fact that the Gay priests congregated separately from the heterosexual priests and discussed which freshmen were the cutest and who was going to meet who first. Talk about predatory!
anyway, little Johnny was in fact raped by a Jesuit priest- Father Adam Bunnel right on campus in West Hall. The problem was that no one believed him- not the school understandably and not even the police.
Fortunately time heals all and looking back I have the privilege to share my experiences and knowledge gained in order to prevent abuse. If it's true that 95% of abuse can be prevented, I'll yell from the highest mountains until my last breath.
There's a bigger reason why the professionals and the courts can't put an end to sexual abuse. There is no communication and legally have no rights to talk to a child about sex. Unfortunately the time when they can talk to the child its only then after the fact, after the child has already been sexually abused or has abused another child.
Only you can talk to your children before anything happens, before any damage is done - to anyone.
****The more a child knows, the better a child will do.
Not In My Family
If you are certain there has never been a child molester or a molested child in your family? You are probably wrong.
Unfortunately, most children will never tell as it is all too confusing. They feel ashamed that it had happened, and with that comes too many unanswered questions. Quite often, the victims then protect their abuser because he or she is part of their very own family. They are also protecting other members of their family- saving them from the pain of knowing.
In spite of the millions of victims, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation will never affect them and that molestation has nothing at all to do with them.
THEY ARE WRONG!
It is estimated:
+1 in 20 males sexually abuse children.
+1 female in every 3,300 will abuse children.
Although that's well over five million people, most families mistakenly believe that as far as molesters go, there has never been one in their family, and what's more, there never will be. Add together the child victims, the adult survivors, and the abusers, and that's 15 out of every 100 Americans who have been either a molested child or a molester.
To help prevent child molestation from happening to the children closest to you, begin by telling others the basic facts.
We Start By Speaking The Same Language
If we're going to work together to stop child sexual abuse, we have to speak the same language. We have to mean the same thing when we say "child molester," "child molestation," and even "child."
Moreover, all of us have to understand the basic facts: What exactly is child molestation? How many of our children are sexually abused? How seriously are they damaged? What are the characteristics of a child molester? What causes someone to sexually abuse a child? Which of our children are most at risk?
A child molester is any older child or adult who touches a child for his or her own sexual gratification.
Child molestation is the act of sexually touching a child.
A child is a girl or boy who is 13 years of age or younger.
What's the age difference between a molester and a child? They say it is a five year gap, so a 14-year-old "older child" sexually touching a nine-year-old is an example. This accepted medical definition, does NOT fly. A child molester is anyone above 13 who who touches anyone under 13 for his or her own sexual gratification.
Sometimes, a professional will consider that a molestation act has occurred when the older child is only three years older - a sixth-grader with a third-grader, for instance. The crucial element here is the lack of equality between the two children; the sixth grader is clearly bigger, more powerful, and more "adult-like" than the third-grader.
We avoid definitions that are ambiguous by sticking to the medical definition. We define "child molester" as an adult or child, who has more power over the child he or she has molested.
Telling Others The Facts
If we're going to protect our children from sexual abuse, all of us have to understand exactly what we mean by the act of sexual abuse.
WHY?
Because one of the greatest obstacles we face is people's fear of the facts about child molestation.
For instance, some people who have no idea that sexual touch is vastly different from hugging are afraid to hug a child - especially one who isn't theirs - because someone might think they are child molesters. You can calm their fears by telling them this fact: Hugging is not molesting. Sexual touch is when an adult fondles the child's chest, buttocks, or genitals with the direct purpose of sexually exciting himself or the child.
Can you tell your husband that fact? Can you tell your sister, your cousin, or your best friend? If you can, then you can easily tell others all the rest of the facts.
The less people know, the more anxiety they feel, and the more they want to run away or pretend that today's estimated three million sexually abused children don't exist. Every fact has a calming effect. By telling the people closest to you the facts, you can help those same people become strong adult protectors of the children closest to you.
How Many Children Are Sexually Abused?
Three million children! I don't believe it. How can you possibly know that there are exactly three million child victims?" As you begin to tell others the facts, this is the first question they may ask you. The answer: Of course, we don't know exactly.
Children seldom tell. Those millions of children are a secret. They are the secret in family after family after family. Even adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse seldom tell. What we do know from studies of adult men and women is that the number is at least three million. At least three million children are molested before they finish their 13th year. In 1998, there were 103,000 reported and confirmed cases of child molestation. For comparison, at the height of the polio epidemic that struck children in the 1950s, there were 21,000 cases reported in a year. For rubella, there were 57,000 cases reported. For child molestation, those numbers of reported and confirmed molestations are only the tip of the iceberg. For every case reported there are at least two and maybe three more cases that never get reported.
That's why we may never know the exact number of child victims. We do know that if we use the conservative estimate that two in every ten little girls and one in every ten little boys are victims (based on the population reported in the 1999 U.S. Census statistical abstract) well over three million children are victims.
Take a moment to think about that. Three million children is a staggering number of children. That's 46 National Football League stadiums packed with children who are, today, being sexually abused, and who believe they have no adult to go to for help.
How Severe is the Damage?
Some people will say that sexually touching a child does no harm. Some adults will even tell boy victims to "act like a man" and "stop whining." Other adults are unsympathetic about the experiences of adult survivors. They will say that, no matter what happened in childhood, that is the past. You're an adult now, so get over it.
The facts are that sexual abuse does harm the child and that the damage often carries over into the child's adult life.
Studies show that this damage can include:
difficulty in forming long-term relationships;
sexual risk-taking that may lead to contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS;
physical complaints and physical symptoms;
depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide;
links to failure of the immune system and to increases in illnesses, hospitalizations, and early deaths.
In addition to the tangible physical and emotional damage that sexual abuse does to the child, that terrible secret that is held so close by two or three family members can go on to tear at the fiber of the family in generation after generation.
Myths and Facts About Child Abuse and Neglect
Myths and facts about child abuse and neglect
MYTH #1: It's only abuse if it's violent.
Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. There is also sexual and mental abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical if not worse, since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene.
MYTH #2: Only bad people abuse their children.
Fact: While it's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with their every day life and stressors can nearly send almost anyone over the edge, but when there's mental health issues or a substance abuse problem, these can lead to serious damage.
MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn't happen in “good” families.
Fact: Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines.
No one is immune and not everything is as it seems and many are hiding a very different story behind closed doors.
****As a responsible human being, keep a watchful eye and the life of a child should not be thwarted by cowardice.
MYTH #4: Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family.
MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.
Fact: It is true that a good percentage of abusers were in fact abused themselves, and a good percentage of them unconsciously do repeat what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through, and can become overly protective. Although these people excel as parents, this can also lead to other problems.
Child Abuse and Neglect
Child Abuse and Neglect
RECOGNIZING AND PREVENTING CHILD ABUSE
Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and live a complete life. Although, not all abused become abusers, those most likely to take on abuse traits can then break the cycle—rather than perpetuating it. By learning about common signs of abuse and what you can do to intervene, you can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
Physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves behind, but not all child abuse is as obvious.
Other forms of abuse are the following:
+ Ignoring children’s needs.
+ leaving a child unsupervised and in possible dangerous situations.
+ or making a child feel worthless or stupid.
Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.
RECOGNIZING AND PREVENTING CHILD ABUSE
Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and live a complete life. Although, not all abused become abusers, those most likely to take on abuse traits can then break the cycle—rather than perpetuating it. By learning about common signs of abuse and what you can do to intervene, you can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
Physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves behind, but not all child abuse is as obvious.
Other forms of abuse are the following:
+ Ignoring children’s needs.
+ leaving a child unsupervised and in possible dangerous situations.
+ or making a child feel worthless or stupid.
Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.
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